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Posted by / 31-Jan-2018 00:59

Dating someone with nonverbal learning disorder

Considering that gestures, touch, body language, facial expressions and eye contact make up roughly two-thirds of all human communication, experts say, and that communication is essential to the learning process, the impact of NLD can be devastating. "That’s why they often have huge gaps in their knowledge that those who understand the syndrome are constantly working to fill." Think of the NLD brain as a chunk of Swiss cheese, with the nonverbal information slipping through the holes."Kids with NLD don’t ‘look and learn,’ so they need to be specifically taught — in words — what most people learn automatically," says Judy Lewis, an educator and coach based in Carmel, Calif., who runs the website and whose many New Jersey clients have included J. But the verbal information clings to it like a warm baguette, giving people with NLD a tendency to be extremely articulate.And that, Lewis says, is precisely what makes their lives so difficult."They are so verbal and often so bright that they appear super-competent," she says.Fenton Turck of Cliffside Park has NLD, Nonverbal Learning Disorder, a neurological condition that impairs his ability to process nonverbal information.Gestures, touch, body language and facial expressions make up about two-thirds of all human communication, so living with the syndrome can be extremely difficult. It just means you have a different way of viewing the world."Since Michael was several years younger" than his chronological age, "this was like a very expensive summer camp." Many of the strategies that work for language-based learning disabilities don’t always benefit students with NLD. "It only takes one person at a time to redirect a life," says his stepfather, Gil Wolin, an aviation consultant also raised in Millburn, adding that Murphy’s English professor "was that person for Mike at the time." That freshman English class changed the way he thought about the subject, and he finally learned how to write an essay. "He knows the lyrics to every ’60s pop song ever written," says his stepfather, Gil Wolin.

C., now a 23-year-old student at a New Jersey college, was diagnosed with nonverbal learning disorder, a neurological condition that impairs the ability to process nonverbal information."So the expectations are incredibly high for these kids — and adults — who have so many problems just getting through the day." Like children with Asperger syndrome, with which this disorder sometimes co-exists and shares many traits, youngsters with NLD have significant difficulty acquiring social skills because of their inability to read nonverbal cues.They have social and emotional problems on top of their academic challenges, which, without effective interventions, worsen as they mature and learning becomes more abstract and conceptual.So what started as a 59-page college thesis ultimately became a book that fills an enormous void — a book written by and for people who know how difficult it is to grow up with NLD. But finding the proper support is often a challenge, and everyday life for people with NLD — and their families — can be enormously stressful."I was bullied like every single day in middle school," Murphy says. "As a parent," Shapiro says, "one has to go to that deep reservoir of calm and patience." DRAMATIC IMPACT The struggle to fit in with their peers and the gaps in their knowledge, both academic and social, make NLD youngsters particularly vulnerable to bullying and teasing.

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"But grandmas know a lot." So does Murphy, and he has a couple of degrees to prove it: a bachelor’s in psychology from Clark University and a master’s in Jewish studies from Hebrew College, "How could a grandmother not be proud? Putting himself in a position to earn those degrees was not easy.

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